


I Guess Goodbye Made Us Strong

by danrdarrenc



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Post Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:55:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: Post-break up, Aaron decides to remain in Dublin. Aaron returns to the village six years later and bumps into Robert who has a mini-me attached to his hip. Bittersweet conversation ensues.





	I Guess Goodbye Made Us Strong

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Carrie Underwood's song "Good in Goodbye".

Aaron sighed as he dropped his bags in the room of the Woolpack which had once been his. His eyes darted around the room and he noticed that it looked exactly the same as it had when he first moved out and into the Mill so long ago. Chas must have left it that way when he moved out. He didn’t really want to even consider the reasons behind that decision, the reality of those reasons a painful reminder of what he had had so briefly, and lost so quickly. Six years on, it didn’t hurt quite as much as it once did, but it still stung whenever he thought about Robert or heard his name. 

When he finished unpacking, Aaron decided to head to the scrapyard. When he’d left Emmerdale he had tried to get Adam to buy him out but Adam had insisted he remain a silent partner. It only felt right that while he was in town, he should help out with scrapping duties. It was funny really, but not surprising, how much the village hadn’t changed in the slightest in the six years since he’d been gone.  Other than some new shops scattered around the square, the village looked just the way he remembered it.

Somehow - he wasn’t exactly sure how - Aaron had unconsciously steered himself towards the Mill. Liv had remained in the village for school, for her friends, because it was the first place she had really felt stable, and Chas had moved into the Mill with her when Aaron had left. (It was Liv’s house anyway, strictly speaking.) As he stared at the house, Aaron’s heart panged in his chest out of some sort of nostalgia for the life he had hoped he’d live there; all the memories he had of the short time he had lived there were painful. Shaking away the thoughts, Aaron turned from his sister’s house and made his way towards the scrapyard.

As he rounded the corner, the sound of a familiar laugh he used to love reached Aaron’s ears. He stopped dead in his tracks as the door from Bob’s cafe clanged open. Robert emerged into the square with a five year-old boy the spitting image of his father cradled in his arms.

Aaron’’s breath hitched as his eyes raked Robert up and down. He looked even more beautiful than he had the last time Aaron had seen him, the day he had left for Dublin and had never come back.  Before Aaron could move, Robert suddenly looked over his way.  The smile that had graced Robert’s lips only seconds before fell away and his eyes widened in shock and surprise.

As soon as their eyes locked, Aaron flashed back to that last horrible day they had seen each other. When Aaron had asked Robert to let him go, that he needed to clear his head on his own, Aaron really had been intending to return to Emmerdale. But it had taken him a long time to find peace within himself and he had been afraid of returning, to the village, to Robert, to the dark place in his mind. So he had stayed in Dublin for a year, and then moved on to London where still lived. 

Aaron blinked away the memory and felt the sudden constriction of his heart when Robert whispered something in the little boy’s ear. He watched Robert put his son on the ground to run into the Woolpack before slowly walking over to Robert.

“He’s beautiful,” Aaron said, coming to a stop next to Robert who was staring in the window of the pub and watching his son play with a man he obviously knew very well but whom Aaron had never seen before.

“Thank you,” Robert responded. “He’s the light of my life.”

“What happened to Rebecca?”

“She fled to the continent after everything that went down with Lachlan and Lawrence. They’re all gone. I get a picture of her at Christmas and some money once in a while, but that’s it,” Robert said. 

Aaron, who was still watching Robert’s son playing in the pub, could feel Robert’s eyes on him. 

“His name’s Jacob, yeah? Vic told me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Aaron saw Robert nod. “Jacob Lawrence Sugden.”

They were silent for a minute and then Aaron asked, “Is he your -?” He left the question unfinished, the idea more painful than Aaron thought it would be.

“We’re getting married next month.”

After a beat, Robert asked, “What are you doing here, Aaron?”

“Mum’s making a 21st birthday party for Liv. Thought I should come.” Aaron turned his head to finally look at Robert and sank onto one of the picnic tables in the front of the pub.

Robert followed but turned his attention back to his son through the window.

“You look good,” Aaron complimented quietly.

Robert blinked, smiled slightly, and responded in kind. “So do you. Healthy.”

Aaron swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “I’m sorry for the way we left things,” Aaron admitted softly.

A shadow crossed Robert’s face but he didn’t say anything.

Aaron tentatively slipped his hand into one of Robert’s. When Robert didn’t pull away, Aaron squeezed gently. “I don’t regret it, Robert.”

Robert looked at him, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Me and you. The time we had together,” Aaron clarified.

Robert smiled sadly at him. “You were the first person I could ever really be free with. It took me a long time before I even started looking at other men. Or women even.” He was quiet, and then, “I guess I kind of hoped for a while that you’d come back and we’d be alright again.”

Aaron absentmindedly stroked his thumb over the back of Robert’s hand and for a minute they were almost them again, the way they were all those years ago, lovers and best friends all wrapped up into one.

Robert broke the spell, though, when he said, “Are you happy?”

Aaron smiled. “Yeah. Yeah I am. I have somebody too. I love him very much.”

Robert nodded and squeezed Aaron’s hand. “I’m glad. After what I put you through, you deserve someone who treats you right. You deserve someone who won’t make you hate yourself. Your mum really was right. I never was good enough for you.”

Aaron opened his mouth to say something but Robert shook his head, pulled his hand out of Aaron’s, and walked to the door of the pub.

“I should go. They’ll wonder why I’ve been out here for so long.”

Aaron followed and came to a stand still in front of Robert. “You were always wrong about not being good enough for me, Rob. I just couldn’t handle a constant reminder of what you’d done, so I fled. I’ll always regret that. I think I could have loved him. I think we could have been happy.”

“Or maybe you did us both a favor,” Robert offered kindly, a smile on his face, but with sadness in his eyes.

Aaron returned the bittersweet smile and pulled Robert into a gentle hug.

After a minute, Robert pulled away and Aaron could see unresolved pain in his eyes. But Robert smiled broadly and said, “It was great to see you again, Aaron. See you around?”

“Definitely.” Aaron pressed a soft kiss to Robert’s cheek, an echo of the one he had given Robert so long ago when he’d broken things off.

Robert swallowed thickly, smiled at Aaron sadly, and disappeared into the pub.

Aaron watched Robert, his fiancé, and Jacob through the window. He thought briefly that maybe that could have been them but just as quickly knew that he never would have been able to handle being a family under the circumstances that had brought Jacob into the world. He would have resented it for the rest of his life, if he’d survived at all.

As he walked away, Aaron knew without a doubt that he had done the right thing in saying goodbye.


End file.
